Here’s a way to freedom, a way to solve problems in your life. Realize that what’s ‘out there’ is a result of what’s going on inside you, then change what’s inside you. What’s great about this way of problem solving is that it returns all the power to you instead of giving away all of your energy blaming something or someone else. It’s called personal po’oponopono in Huna and is based on the 6th principle of Huna, ‘all power comes from within’. It’s related to projection in psychology – what you deny in yourself, you become particularly allergic to in others. So rather than expect others to fix themselves so you can be happy, you Begin Within. You recognize that the problem is pointing to something within you that you CAN change rather than something without that you have no control over.
Let’s see how it works and how you can reclaim your power and heal troublesome issues.
1. Think of someone or something that really pushes your buttons and ticks you off.
2. Write down all the things that this person or situation is doing that bothers you.
3. Recognize that you are also doing these same behaviors yourself…this takes honesty!
4. Come up with a solution, an action you can do that will improve the situation in yourself.
5. Notice how different the outer problem looks to you now.
Here’s an example:
Outer Problem: Anita – it annoys me how needy she is, he always needs someone else to validate her actions, to make the decision, always looking for approval, I feel uncomfortable around her because she’s always expecting something from me.
Inner Problem: hmmm… well, I listen more to what other people think of me than what I know is to be true myself, I feel like I’m not lovable and have to earn acceptance, I’m afraid of rejection so put other people’s needs before my own. I really don’t love myself and constantly feel rejected because other people can’t fill that hole for me.
Solution: wow, I really need to know what my needs are and fill them myself instead of trying to get others to do it for me. Maybe other people are experiencing me the way I experience my friend. I need internal validation not outer validation and to do what makes me feel good. I’m giving myself away all the time and it’s exhausting.
This approach takes honesty and kindness to yourself. It is very healing, energizing and loving. When you start taking responsibility for the life you are creating, you are empowered, you’re no longer a victim.