We all have them. Emotional wounding from our childhood. An event, a person, something happened to create a cluster of pain and beliefs surrounding that pain. Years can go by, and as long as that wound is still festering, all it takes is a word, or a certain look on someone’s face to trigger it. Then suddenly you are embroiled in a cloud of turbulence, lashing out at the poor person or thing that set you off, telling yourself a story of pain. A story that seems so true, that controls you so much, that eats away at your happiness.
I have a wound around rejection. It comes with a set of beliefs to support it. “I’m not loved, people will betray me, I’m not wanted, I have to earn love, even good things won’t last, etc.” Once you get a wounding, it’s always there preventing you from seeing what truly is, like trying to see through a tainted fog. Every time the wound is triggered, the story begins to support the beliefs. People may try to support and love me, but I don’t trust their motives, I tell myself they don’t love me, they just want something from me, and, ultimately push them away and isolate myself because of the sad story I believe that all started when I was a young child. Now decades later, I’m still imprisoned. Once I finally saw what was happening, I’ve had a keen interest in setting myself free. What would life be like without these wounds holding me back, chaining me to the past, alone in the dungeon of my own creation?
There is a way out.
Here’s how to claim your freedom and start seeing yourself and the world around you with clarity and love.
1) You have to understand what’s going on. You were wounded, you created a set of beliefs that you can explore by looking at the story you tell yourself about your wounding. No doubt you were young and had limited understanding of life and your environment, and survival was paramount. So when whatever happened, happened you didn’t have all the ways to interpret the events that you do now. So first, look at the story you tell yourself. What are your beliefs around this issue? It’s important to do this so you can start to get some space the next time your wound is triggered and the emotional charge comes up. The charge may still overwhelm you, but now, there is a little, but growing part of you that is watching.
2) Watch with compassion. Everyone has charges and stories, beliefs and the pain that accompanies them. You were young. You created these beliefs to help you survive. You did it to protect yourself. There’s nothing wrong with them, it’s a normal human thing we all do. You’re doing something about it now that will heal you. Awesome!
Give yourself the love you didn’t get then.
1) When a charge comes up, don’t push it away with your thoughts, don’t resist. Just feel the energy in your body. Be with it. Get out of your head where the story about your pain is going on. We tell ourselves our pain story to keep us in our head and protect us from actually feeling the pain and also to remind ourselves that we don’t want another similar wound happen again. What’s really going on, though, is that the story is perpetuating the pain, leaving you vulnerable, and even attracting similar events. So, it’s not working, is it? The story about your pain is not in the present moment. The story is about your past or how it will affect your future. ‘Now’ is the place of power, the place where you have the power to heal. So, feel the energy in your body and this brings you into the present moment. Without the story, it’s just energy, it’s not pain. Be with it. Breathe. It’s OK, because magic is going to happen and every wound has an amazing gift. You want to heal and find out what that is.
2) As you get out of your head, breathe, and feel the energy of your wound, something amazing happens. You are giving yourself the love and attention you really needed when you were young, the tender love that would have prevented the wound in the first place and has the power to heal it now. Through the power of your awareness and your love, the energy will start to dissolve. The charge will lose some power and you will feel a shift. Now you are the one loving and healing, not the victim.
Third, claim your gift!
1) These charges contain alot of energy that has been fed sometimes for years and years, so repeat this process as necessary. It’s not how many times you fall down that counts, but how many times you get up. Each time you do, you dissolve it some more and your healing, loving, present moment awareness increases. It may take time, or it may happen in an instant, but your awareness and love will set you free.
2) Ask yourself what you learned from the wounding? There is always a gift. Is it compassion? strength? love? a shift in perception? That is for you to discover and enjoy. For me, the ultimate gift is freedom! To be able to see the world as it is, and to see myself as I truly am.