We’ve all had that experience of repeating that same old harmful pattern, over and over and no matter how hard you try to stop it, it keeps repeating? Even if you move across the country to a whole new group of people, the same old relationship problems happen all over again. The world keeps treating us the same no matter what we do. It is like an energetic prison that we can’t escape. I’ve spent many years studying and learning how this happens and, more importantly, how to become free and starting living life on your own terms, not based on some subconscious pattern. I’ll share with you what I’ve found out.
How we create the pattern prison:
You start like a new baby, with a clean slate with no judgments, opinions, beliefs or expectations. Look into a baby’s eyes and you see love and wonder. That’s who you really are.
You gradually develop an ego and an inner voice which starts to judge you and your world according to what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’.
During your childhood, you make agreements (beliefs) with yourself about what the world is like and how you fit in. These beliefs lay the foundation for how you experience life. Some beliefs are: I am not good enough, the world is not safe, you can’t trust people, I’m not lovable, something’s wrong with me, it’s ok to hit me, people don’t care about me, etc.
Your subconscious will always look for ways to validate what it believes, so the rest of your life you see what you believe and it gets reinforced. You tend to ignore examples that prove the opposite and just focus on what your beliefs say is true. What you focus on expands, so wherever you go, you keep seeing that the reality is what you believe. It’s not ‘seeing is believing’, it’s ‘believing is seeing’. You experience the same things over and over and react to them in the same old ways. It’s how you are now programmed. There is no geographical cure. You can move to the other coast, to a new group of people, around the world and pretty soon, you’re playing out the same patterns again with a different cast and backdrop.
How to Escape:
As long as everything is directed by your subconscious, you really don’t have much of a choice. Once in a while you can exert your will, but soon your subconscious takes over and you see the old pattern again. You react the same old way, repeat the same old thoughts and reinforce the whole process.
So, the first step to freedom is AWARENESS:
You have to start making aware what has been hidden in the subconscious. You start becoming aware of how the pattern got there, that it isn’t just an inherent part of you. It’s something you learned. It’s beliefs you agreed to and thoughts you repeat that support those beliefs and keep them in place. You need to start noticing how the pattern works, how it totally ties in to what was going on when you were a child. Once you start having awareness about it, you are 80% there! You are no longer identifying with the negative pattern, but looking at it. You are identified with the real you, the true you who has been there all along covered up by the old stuff. Once you become aware, you start to have a choice.
The next step is TRANSFORMATION:
Now you see it, you start to disassemble it. Beliefs are basically thought patterns with the accompanying feelings that they generate. So in this step, you shift the energy of the belief and stop believing all the thoughts that support it….
While you start applying the last step, INTENTION:
Now you replace the old thoughts with new thoughts, the new way you want to be. You start focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want and align with the new pattern you’re creating. You start bringing in new energy that supports the new you. Energy follows thought, so the new becomes stronger as the old just falls away like a bad dream after you awaken. Because that’s what you’ve done. You’ve awakened.
This process can be tricky to do on yourself because our conditioned mind has ways of keeping the old in place and out of view – that’s the shadow part of you and it’s good at protecting itself. There are tricks your mind uses like denial and projection that can keep you from seeing yourself.